Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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