You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
