Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
