hell yes lets make some ravioli
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
