capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
