No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
