How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
