I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize