If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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