so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
