there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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