Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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