That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize