Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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