ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
