You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize