is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
