Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
bring money and cleavage
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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