and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
