So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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