lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
