I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
