just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
