Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
