Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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