alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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