Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You ruined the universe
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
