go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
