i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I said "one day" and that day is not today
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
