babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
