I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
