no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
