He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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