Having a random hookup so left but love u
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
