My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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