I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
