I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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