Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
