Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is the high leading the old right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
