thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize