escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
