How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
