There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
