oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
