I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
