when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
