so explain again why im purple
no
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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