At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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