just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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