She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
