woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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