is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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