i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's get the cat blown out
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
