Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
