considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
