One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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