Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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