yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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