It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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