ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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