Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
