Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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